7.30.2008

ECW Review (July 29)

1. To start the show we were introduced to the new play-by-play man for ECW since Mike Adamle left....Todd Grisham. Oh god, ECW is turning into Heat! Anyway Grisham's first act as the voice of ECW was to clear all confusion up on whether Tazz, his broadcast counterpart, was to be appropriately called "Tazz" or "the Tazz". Then Tazz said not to use the latter and stared at Grisham as if was going to ingest all 120 lbs of him. To start the real show Matt Hardy came out to address his gaining of a title shot at Summerslam. After some banter, ECW Champion Mark Henry came out with his manager Tony Atlas. Atlas started talking about Summerslam (I think, Tony tends to get lost in translation.) Eventually, Mark Henry bent a metal bar and said that was going to be Hardy at Summerslam. Then Matt Hardy says he Henry can break his bones but not his spirit (imagine the Wrestlemania marquee, Mark Henry Vs. Matt Hardy's spirit. This led to a commercial. (Segment Rating: 1.5 out of 5)

2. Back from break, "The Latin Assassin" Ricky Ortiz def. Chavo Guerrero Jr. in 5:00 by DQ when Bam Neely was caught cheating for Chavo. Nothing special, Ortiz has potential. After the match, Chavo and Bam attacked Ortiz when Evan Bourne eventually came down and saved him. "Bourne has been a thorn [in Chavo's side]," said Grisham, in Adamlesque fashion. Backstage, Henry and Atlas were approached by Colin Delaney who they abandoned last week during his match and loss to Tommy Dreamer. They said that Colin can stick around with them if he "softens up" Matt Hardy for Henry tonight. (Seg. Rating: 2)

3. Back from commercial, John Morrison and the Miz def. Finlay and Hornswoggle in 12:00 when Morrison gave Hornswoggle a "Sitout Facebuster". The match ended prematurely when Hornswoggle tagged himself in when Finlay was about to seal the deal. Hopefully, this is Finlay turning on his "son" for two reasons: one- Finlay is an awesome heel, two- Hornswoggle can't be on TV forever. Anyway, after the loss, Mike Knox came out of the crowd and brutalized Finlay a tad to take the show to commercials. (Seg. Rating: 2.5)

4. Backstage, Mike Knox was interviewed concerning the ambush. He claimed Finlay had gone soft. Knox then "took his shot". Nice tidbit of a promo. Then after a SNME plug, Chris Harris, whoops, Braden Walker was backstage telling Matt Hardy was in his corner for no apparent reason. The whole Hardy-Walker bit came off as if they were a closet couple. (Seg. Rating: 1)

5. Matt Hardy def. Colin Delaney in 4:00 with a "Twist of Fate" after the commercial break. Nothing altogether shocking or important until after the match. Henry and Atlas entered the ring. Immediately, Henry gave Delaney a huge "Gorilla Press" out of the ring. Then Matt Hardy got into fighting stance. Henry and Atlas proceeded to leave. And as they walked up the ramp, Henry shouted several things at Hardy including, "Constantly wasting my time." Mark is classic. Anticlimactic end to say the least. (Seg. Rating: 2.5)

Hits: Mike Knox, Mark Henry, Tag team match including the end, Miz and Morrison
Misses: Chavo Vs. Ortiz, Delaney in limbo, Braden Walker's awkward speech
Tweeners: Matt Hardy, Todd Grisham (I mean who doesn't enjoy an awful announcer here and there. Adamle is definitely entertaining amongst the constant lack of knowledge and stupidity. The best bad announcer has to be Bruno Sammartino from Herb Abrams' UWF. Bruno constantly said, "Oh, what an Albow Smash!" Verne and Greg Gagne are also contenders).
Overall ECW Rating: 1.5 out of 5 stars

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